combine harvester

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i had a brief early church mania during like the last few weeks of december '23 ... here's wat i was writing n posting on twitter during tht time...

i was reading abt papias, one of the ante-nicene fathers, as well as valentianian gnosticism, sethian gnosticism, and i was rlly rlly into paul's letters. obsessed w that whole drama ...paul i understand u ...u strange strange man...

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ive been watching mike leigh films this weekend

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i ordered a perfume recently, cala rossa fron santa maria novella, and its beautiful it dries wonderfully on my skin its somehow warm and cold in tone at the same time, its layer-able...its perfect. and its also making me sad a little bit lol bc i cant get this fragrantica commenters description of the scent out of my head...it was a rlly good description accurate i'd say the called it cold but modern... and they also said tht it was kinda something like maybe a kindergarten teacher would wear or maybe a librarian, a lonely woman maybe w some kind of aversion to or fear of sexuality (im just digging into the commenters description w my own thots on wat their description implied at this point)...their exact words were "sad purity"

like a cloistered person...and its a bit on the nose for the current status of my life i think lol so im figuring out wat i feel abt tht, abt the fact tht this fragrance will mark this time period in my memory 4ever. actually i think its good, and at the same time...i may b steeped in "sad purity" atm...but i exercise some freedoms as well...so there's some gem hidden in my life and in the general concept of being away from others as is...im not bound...and i enjoy purity actually :) anyway...balance is key! i'll take my bittersweet purity well for 1998-2023..2024 ? who knos... <3

also, maybe the commenter was being a bit unfair to kindergarten teachers and old matrons who never did any wild partying or watever like wat abt wat they want not everybody wants to have a bunch of hookups across their life ! watever ...AND...i may have more thoughts abt the archetypes presented in the comment idk ok i gotta go to work bye

some tumblrs i've found + revisit every now + then for fandom history and member history

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presented to u without much comment. i used hoshis leo asc chart and i posted these on twt...maybe a week or two ago. from their lots of spirit

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i've been wanting to get into martial arts movies for a while now and im glad i have..i kno why i thot i'd like them so much and i was right. they're body movies... it's abt how wat ur seeing played out immediately in front of u, on the characters bodies, makes u feel. the substance is wat u can see. and its more palpable and personal in martial arts films than in some other genres of action film i think. disclaimer before i start talking the only martial arts films ive seen so far are kung fu movies so i kno there r movies w other styles at the center tht i wanna watch in the future and i may come away w a different thought abt those

bruce lee said tht he felt tht motion pictures in general shouldn't have much dialogue bc its about pictures...moving... Idk if i agree w tht entirely but i certainly see why he'd feel tht way as a martial arts film star, and I would agree tht for the martial arts movies ive seen so far, less focus on dialogue has been an asset. i like this trait of the genre, and i think i like body horror and sci fi horror movies best out of all horror for a similar reason. like these films r meant to b felt directly in ur body. like they skip the head hole and move straight thru the skin of ur abdomen for digestion, and they do this by putting the body at the center of the film in the most direct way possible.

in martial arts films there is a process that every body involved in the fighting goes through in order to execute every kill or injury or arrest. from the training which is shown or tht u just kno happened to the actual fight. this process isnt only made visible on film, its like half of the point of the entire movie (if not the whole point, depending on wat ur watching). to put the art form on display. so u sit with the characters as u watch their bodies change before u during the struggle. one blow and now they're injured, one dodge but their eyes are wide bc it was a close call and now u kno they're restrategizing. its not like the point is to maximize impact, hand to hand combat is just like this so this is how a thoroughly choreographed fight will come out on film in most martial arts movies, but it is a pivotal effect. u sit with the characters, u sit in the combat, u sit in the pain. u sit in the body.

and i think tht wat makes sitting in the physicality of martial arts movies more impactful to me than sitting in the physicality of other action movies tht may feature some hand to hand combat is the sense of purpose, the time + the craft thts on the dealing end of every movement. like becoming an expert in a martial art requires, if not some form of reverence, then at least intense dedication + patience. tht goes w/o saying. and this brings me back to body horror again. they're similar in tht theyre both body centric movie genres, but if the spectacle of body horror is loss of control or a perceived loss of control over the body and the self, then the spectacle of (non comedic?) martial arts movies is the achievement of complete control through the body and the self. control over ur surroundings, control over ur future, and control over ur own personhood accomplished thru a labored forging of the mind body. films in both genres imply or are fully about power dynamics tht exist within the single person, between an emergent floating will and the beast tht is the human body. so essentially between the body and itself. tho i guess in body horror the real "antagonist" or catalyst can just b like, fate or watever. idk my thoughts on body horror r locked up in my brain cabinet sorry im not going to get them rn.

ermmmm also im only in the 70s rn with martial arts movies, i havent tried to watch any of the 40s 50s samurai movie era ones and i certainly havent made it to the 21st century yet so opinions subject to change and tht. i'll always have a little thought to add...we'll see wat i think a few weeks from now...also im not an expert on east asian martial arts or anythings or action movies in general so ...talking out my ass...anywayz this is why i like the movies ive seen so far at least.

• conceptualizing engaging with internet, websites, vr technology etc as engaging with a virtual environment, an illusion of sorts something u cannot touch within which events of “tangible” impact can happen
• but what of our memories
• is the information running through our own brains, the information that makes us who we think we are, not the same as the information running thru internet cables etc creating the web environments we engage in every day
• u can never “unplug” ur entire existence is the result of a plugging u cannot unplug
• ur memories are like cyberspace, they reside in an intangible world, and ur existence is necessarily a virtual one
• everything goes back to: reality = illusory
• so but like how far down does it go tho
• if we’re machines of abstraction, probably made from a machine of abstraction, creating more machines of abstraction are we even physical at all like even our bodies? Are they really? Could it be possible that the body abstract too? Or maybe im getting ahead of myself + should instead b asking wat the heck is the difference even rlly between the abstract and the physical at tht point 🤭 if everything rolls on..?
• well we’d have to start…what abt the earth’s memory…? Or the universe’s is tht something we can define. Ok anyway
• in the end is everything memory ..? And is there no difference at all then between the physical and the immaterial? I think there is not.