aspiratorium: (mark)

i'll just post abt things im interested in or fixated on at the moment here. this use to b almost entirely a seventeen centered blog. i started it cuz i wanted to archive fandom and group history stuff and also just talk abt their careers n them as ppl on here but i dont rlly gaf abt them anymore so i haven't written or catalogued anything abt them in a while lmao. nowadays for the most part i post on here abt movies i watch or stuff i find online or watever other dumb shit. shortly before i made this blog i developed an intense fixation on the career of justin bieber and created a masterdoc of sorts which is also here... idgaf abt him either tho... but yea i'll list some of my actual interests below the cut :)

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"let me live the life i did in the beginning"

by my calculations there was at least one aborted version of the y2k revival which kinda? predated the mcbling style one which became most popular during 2018-2022, and it was nerdier and kinda more cyberpunk oriented. back in the day my sole experience of this alternative y2k option came via princess nokia. she was possibly also the sole champion of this version of the thing at the time. idk i was just on tumblr.

i loved princess nokia in high school. to b rlly real, i use to think she was so cool. her style and her aesthetic interests seemed so fresh to me, they were like a stylized version of my own childhood. winx club and anime tht looked like the shit my aunts use to watch... video games tht looked like the shit my aunts use to play...nascent social media like the kind my older cousin was allowed on but i wasnt yet bc i was too young..nokia gave toonami. her mvs were the first time i encountered any kind of modern fashion or aesthetic which harkened back to the mid or early 2000s. and the first time id seen a (at the time) contemporary music artist take so much interest in talking about either pop or sub culture during the aughts in a nostalgic way was probably in her music. of course y2k would go on to become a hugely popular micro-aesthetic (or watever they're called) online. so many video essays about this now, and my memory's too jumbled to recap the timeline anyway, so you can imagine what im getting at hopefully. but its been freaking huge.

i remember watching the interest in y2k aesthetics rise across the internet among ppl my age really slowly over time. from 2014 until about 2022, i guess. from this princess nokia shit to pc music to all the shit tht came after, it's been a long time. i wasn't surprised at how popular the y2k glam stuff in particular got. however, in retrospect, i am sometimes stunned that people around my age were seemingly looking backwards into our childhoods in that way for a span of nearly ten years. thts a lot of reflecting..i should think more abt tht later. but its almost 12am im abt to shut my brain down for the night.

i guess im also not surprised that princess nokias markedly unglamorous y2k visions weren't the ones tht caught steam among the online public. they're always the ones ill love the most though. guess i use to watch too much inuyasha on adult swim to not love them.

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i had a brief early church mania during like the last few weeks of december '23 ... here's wat i was writing n posting on twitter during tht time...

i was reading abt papias, one of the ante-nicene fathers, as well as valentianian gnosticism, sethian gnosticism, and i was rlly rlly into paul's letters. obsessed w that whole drama ...paul i understand u ...u strange strange man...

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ive been watching mike leigh films this weekend

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hiii...been a while...well i was just online today looking around for new search engines to use bc g**gle is annoying me (trying out kagi but apparently they have bad ethics n a weird founder so) . along the way ive found some cool websites and forums...here they r...

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haaaay...

Dec. 5th, 2023 06:14 pm
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ok hi . lol . well I was working on tht hoshi digest update and then a bunch of stuff happened and now a couple months have gone by and i havent paid attention to hoshi for like any of them. what have i been paying attention to instead ...well mostly the inside of my brain, which is horrible, but also:

  • "Iran's Networks on Influence in the Middle EasT" (IISS dossier)
  • "Hamas: Political Thought and Practice" Khaled Hroub
  • "British Intelligence and Covert Actiion in Africa, the Middle East, and Europe since 1945"
  • "White Oleander" by Janet Fitch
  • "Feminist City" by Leslie Kern

and also a looooootttttt of country music. i mean a ton its all ive been listening to for like a month and a half. Ehm and I just started playing OpenTTD today :3 hehe. i watched pen15..i think i'll rewatch metalocalypse, been watching too much sinjin drowning actually, the protests for gaza where i live have died down and that worries me, i'm not connected to any organizational network, i'm gna make it a goal for this upcoming year i think...oh i saw an astrologer in october who said a lot of interesting stuff but thats for my diary maybe...eh..im in an interesting space with astrology right now. how do u make peace with there being no free will and not much choice in life ...i'll keep thinking abt it of course i dont have a choice. the only place im ever brave is in my own mind anyway so i might as well brave there. ok! maybe i'll just publish wat i have of tht digest at some point idk. maybe maybe. going back to openttd now bye i gotta make this town like me again so i can build shit.

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lol i wrote all this stuff in my notes one night when i was rlly high just rewatching gose, it was just me trying to chart out how the events in dont lie clue transpired i think...

i have another one to write abt the hoshi joshua seungkwan dynamic from the boomily outing episode too, give me a minute...btw im posting more here rn bc im in the process of putting the spring summer digest together 😭 trying to keep the momentum going ... also ive been stockpiling thoughts and opinions...

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this is a post from like june which i archived kinda....i dunno i was just talking lol but i do still kinda think this is an interesting thing to think abt, how differently group communication styles can develop depending on ppls personalities, the time in their lives tht they met each other, their proximity to one another, number of ppl in the group...history etc...kinda obvious point to make tht circumstances change things lol like no shit... but anyway i was just typing...so heres wat i typed

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diary entry...im rewatching paranoid park just thinking about wat it must feel like to walk around this world ur whole life with the freaking anvil tht this teenage main character has permanently attached to his gut. like the burden of it. ur walking around the earth feeling like someone is chasing u all the time and with these horrible memories and regrets just like a swirling pit of dark cold water in u, ur brain has to be nothing less than hell..and u didnt mean it..

anyway i was just thinking abt all tht pressure and i was like someone dealing w those kinds of feelings wouldnt b able to let anyone close to them for the entire rest of their lives, anyone who knew tht kid during the events of the movie or afterwards would probably b like "oh him tht guys a mystery" like he would have to be so evasive, he'd have to swallow every other word he ever wanted to say and then some just to keep everything down. and then i thought to myself "he'd pretty much have to live like me." lol. .. why have i exiled myself from my own fcking life...? ...teehee :)

aspiratorium: (changmin)

Haaaaay guyses …well…this is the last stand..its been a long road (not even a week) …i will remember u all…never stop reviewing…lets do this.

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I am back again…and im more awake this time so ill probably have more things to say ..ok ..

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aspiratorium: (bookkeu)
things im gna pursue on here + twitter in the coming...weeks ? months...?

1. comparative boosoon soonseok analysis

2. hoshi personality twt space...

...and i have more ideas but i cant come up w them now!! im in the middle of some intensive boosoon research rn i think i may b able to have to boosoon soonseok analysis by the end of june. maybe. we'll see i need to stop looking at their faces soon tho lmao
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very well known info abt jeonghan, nothing new, i just love when he does this...world class vibe oracle

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some things joshua said abt seungkwan on a weverse live (around the 26 minute mark) from last august. i just screenshot the vtt file

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some tumblrs i've found + revisit every now + then for fandom history and member history

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